We got on the topic of "forgiveness" and it was interesting and simple what she told me. She asked me why I couldn't just let it all go... my response to her? "I don't know, every time I think of what happened and try to forgive and let it go, I get so angry all over again." I've been praying for a long time for God to show me a way to forgive a deep seeded wound. It was interesting what I came across tonight that reminded me of all the reasons I've forgiven people and things in the past. I remember the good times, because despite whatever may have happened, despite my perspective on it all... there were good times, sweet times, moments where I felt loved and cared for. What happened was so simple and I believe to be a gentle guide from the one who loves me like none other. I drove past the Galleria Mall (in Dallas) on my way home from babysitting. Ever since I can remember the Galleria has always had such a delightful Christmas display inside and out (lights in the trees outside & a beautiful tree in the center of the inside). Just over 2 years ago in an effort to surprise me, I endured one of the most unexpected and sweet dates of my life. Granted I don't have a long track record in the dating department, but alas this one goes in the record books with an 'A' for effort. In a nutshell, in spite of the struggle to find a way to forgive, I remembered a good moment... that's been happening a lot in many different areas of my life lately.
Over a span of 3 years I've allowed a wound to be reopened time and time again. At the point where I've been stitched up and those stitches are about to be removed I find myself reopening the same wound. But this time... over the last 22 months I've felt the hand of God slowly, but surely stitching me up again. It's been a long process, to this day I still don't feel that the wound has been completely closed up, but with each happy/good memory I recall I feel a new stitch go in... I feel His healing touch as it continually places the pieces of my heart back together in what I hope to be a final intensive surgery session.
Just remember my friends... with the bad comes the good... remember the good times, it will help you through the deepest parts of pain.