Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Sundance, Day 1 & 2

"The Lord is my shepherd..." ~ Psalm 23

The verse that has weighed on my heart since late April/early May is that of Psalm 23. There is significance in that and I have no doubt that it is He, my shepherd, that has gotten me to this point. What an amazing opportunity God has set before me. This week marked the beginning of my student internship as required for me to finish up my masters degree in Professional Counseling. By the end of this year I shall be known as Cristyn Rohloff, MA, LPC, NCC. It's kinda weird, all those letters behind my name. And no, I will not go around in public shouting my newly accrued title out loud just for the sake of saying it... that would be really weird.

When I walked into the offices at Sundance Behavioral Health Center in Ft. Worth on Monday morning I had no idea what to expect. Within 30 minutes of arriving I had finished paperwork and found myself sitting at a conference table with a "treatment team" assessing a few of the women in the women's group. It was a whirlwind to say the least, but I was just excited to be there and take it all in. My first 4 weeks at Sundance I have the privilege of working with the Adult Women's program that began in November of last year. It had never crossed my mind having an interest working with adult women, but in just 48 hours I see the pain and hunger in the faces of these women and how much they struggle to have some sort of normalcy back in their lives, one in which depression, pain, anxiety, and fear didn't exist... at least not to an extent that it prevented them from living their everyday lives.

As I've said and will continue to say, it is truly a privilege to be able to be a part of something so amazing and wonderful and life changing. Sundance also works with kids and adolescents (ages 5-18) and that is what drew me to the program initially. I will have the opportunity during my coursework to rotate into the other groups, but I'm learning that unexpectancy is the best expectation to have. I am really surprised at how quickly the skills and cues I've learned in the classroom have come instantaneously as I've sat and observed the women's group. I hope that in my short rotation in each group I'll have the chance to make some sort of impact on the lives of these clients... I can already tell they will most definitely make an impact on mine.

I will not be updating my blog each time I'm at my internship (Mondays and Tuesdays), however with each new rotation and as new changes come up I hope to update you dear readers on what is going on at Sundance. Please be praying for each patient, and most specifically right now that the women in this group would put forth the work and find a desire to change their lives. Something brought them here and something keeps them coming back for the time they are allotted at the center.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Es Tiempo

"There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven."
~ Eccelesiastes 3:1

My dear friends and readers, this post has been a long time coming... two years in fact. Two years ago I would never have imagined I'd be where I am today. Content, happy, overjoyed, excited, blissful, and so unexpectant of what's to come. It's funny how in the last few weeks God has so neatly packaged all that he's been trying to speak to me over the last two years into one phrase... "it's time." Those were also the words I wrote to my sister a few days after she told me that she and her family would soon be moving back to Colorado, where God has called them and where they left their hopes, hearts, and dreams when their son, Billy Jr. died. I'm truly amazed at how beautifully God has written the story of our family and how with each bump in the road he has indeed knitted us closer together. I'm going to miss having my sister nearby, but it's time. It's time to let her go and trust that God is going to take care of her and her family. That with each new day her beautiful children will grow stronger and wiser physically, emotionally, and spiritually. And the story and legacy that Billy Jr. left behind will continue to grow and someday both of his little brothers will know who he was and the love he left behind. Losing him pushed me that much harder to go after my dreams to find a deeper faith in my Heavenly Father that I never knew even existed. I truly believed I was about as deep as I could go before Billy died. I can't wait to see Billy again, to hug his neck and thank him for what he left behind.

But this isn't all about trusting God with my sister and her family as they embark on their newest journey to Colorado (with baby number four on the way no less... another boy). This is mainly about trusting God with my journey and the adventures I'm gearing up to embark on. Not long after God spoke to me about it being time I happened to notice a billboard on my way to work. It was for the Texas Rangers baseball team and all it had was a batter and the words "es tiempo." In English that translates as "is time." I have no idea how long that billboard has been up or how many days I traveled to work passing it by, not giving it a second thought... but now I see it everyday and it reminds me of the season I'm in. It's a good season, a self seeking, heart smiling, joyful tear falling season. One where I realize I've come so far and yet so far left to go. One where there's no anger left residing in my heart, but yet I'm still learning to forgive. It's time to walk in all God has for me, despite the fact that I'm still human, I'm not perfect, and yet I'm covered by the blood and love of Jesus Christ. It's time to finally let his sacrifice stand in my life and just let go of all that I try to control. It's difficult, but I'm so amazed to see all that he's already done and continues to do as I learn to trust and walk in his promise set before me.

My most treasured memories with the Lord are the moments when he speaks so softly and it lasts forever. I'm starting to see "it's time" unfold and I'm excited to walk out the adventure(s) he has before me... for I am not alone, but He is with me always.

"Whoever obeys his command will come to no harm, and the wise heart will know the proper time and procedure." ~ Ecclesiastes 8:5