It's Really Good to be Back Home!

"Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.

Wouldn't you like to get away? Sometimes you want to go

Where everybody knows your name,
and they're always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see,
our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows
Your name.

You wanna go where people know,
people are all the same,
You wanna go where everybody knows
your name"

~ Where Everybody Knows Your Name by Gary Portnoy and Judy Hart Angelo - Cheers Lyrics

This is a bit of a sequel to my blog from a month or so ago (the one about going back home). Well, I made a return to another home this past weekend and I was quickly reminded how good it feels to go where everybody knows your name. : ) Yes, I've referenced the "Cheers" theme song and compared it to that of my lovely home church. Don't be taken my stuff out of context now...I'm not saying it's like a bar, I'm just saying it's a place where you can go where everybody knows your name and they are truly glad that you came. : )

I've been searching for someone, for something over the last couple of months and it took misplacing myself to realize what it was I was looking for. I am looking for support, love, laughter, consistency, brokenness greeted by grace, and a whole heck of a lot of that mercy stuff! I don't know what else to say that the "Cheers" theme song hasn't already said...so there you have it.

Goodnight for now!

It's all a part of the Puzzle of Life

I was driving the other day and thinking...this happens a lot as I spend quite a bit of time in my car commuting from one place to another. I was thinking of how God is slowly, but surely putting things back into place for me and opening my eyes to the new season He is creating and guiding me into. I began to realize that as we can only see a small part of God's plan, it appears to be much like a puzzle. You have a bizzillon pieces to choose from, but only one particular piece will fit here and there to form the complete puzzle. There are pieces that you are so convinced will fit, that if you try hard enough or turn it a certain way it will fit and work towards making the puzzle complete...someday. But as the frustration of trying to get the piece to fit settles in, you decide to place it to the side and come back to it...maybe try another piece or even another part of the puzzle all together.

So you start to work on a different section and through your own strength and frustration you begin to see it from a different angle. You realize the biggest part of it all is missing...prayer. So you begin to pray, not sure what to pray for you just begin to pray for what is in your heart. Then all of a sudden what you least expect (and sometimes what you were praying against) starts to happen, God starts to guide your hand and place the puzzle pieces exactly where they belong. A joy begins to grow in your heart as you find that what you were so sure would not be a good fit actually ends up being the best one. You find that when you slow down and take things one step at a time, one bit at a time...it all falls into place.

There are a bizzillion puzzle pieces out there, any of which we could force to form our own personal puzzle, but if you really take the time you find that the best ones come in time and the puzzle is more beautiful than you could ever hope or imagine.

I still have quite a bit of puzzle pieces to put into place, but I look forward to the finished project one day. : )

What's the Plan Stan?

I'm getting a lot of questions these days regarding what I want to do with my life (career wise) and where I see myself in 5 years...10 years...etc. Well, I came across a very intriguing quote from a movie the other day and I thought I'd share it with you. I pray it brings you peace and a little more adventure! ; )

"Instead of telling our young people to plan ahead, we should tell them to plan to be surprised."
~ Dan Burns (Steve Carrell) from 'Dan in Real Life'

Peace out my people! : )

Grief is Like an Ocean...

I heard a quote tonight, I'm not sure if it is real as I tried to google it and nothing came up even remotely close to it...but it still spoke volumes. It was talking of grief, pain, and sadness...all emotions I've become very familiar with in the last six months. However, I have my own spin on it and it ties to what I read as I spent my quiet time with God this morning.

See, grief is a lot like the ocean. It is deep and dark and scary. One can even get lost in the waves of it all, being continuously tossed back and forth...but unlike the ocean, grief does end somewhere. There comes a point in time where you wake up and the pain isn't quite so hard to bear and the days come and go where not one tear was shed. I have days like that sometimes, and other days the tears fall like they are never ending.

The other day I stopped by the grocery store looking for some "Thank You" notes and I stumbled across Halloween Candy. Usually my first thought is, "Oh jeez, really? Halloween time already? Guess that means Christmas isn't far behind." But not anymore, I was actually really surprised by my reaction. I started to cry. I started to cry because for me Halloween brings the memory of last year when my dad called to tell me my sister was in labor and that he was headed to Colorado. I have the memory of him calling me at 2am on November 1 to tell me he arrived safely. I have the memory of my sister calling me to tell me that her son was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen and she prayed so hard that he would wait to make his arrival on November 1 and NOT be born on Halloween...and that she couldn't wait for me to arrive in Colorado to meet him. All very sweet memories, but now...well now we will celebrate each of his birthdays every year without him...that's where the ocean begins.

...but there is an end...

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven."
~ Ecclesiastes 3:1

There was a designated birthdate for Baby Billy...November 1, 2007
There was a designated birthdate for him in Heaven...March 29, 2008
There will be a day where our grief will become joy, where our mourning will become dancing, and where Halloween candy won't bring tears to my eyes. : )

Don't Hide Your Heart

Someone once told me if I can’t verbalize what I want to say then maybe I should write it down…so here it is, just for you (my readers)…

All the questions in my head Are from my heart instead Be real to me now That's all I'm asking Be real somehow More than anything More than anything So lay down the sword And put away the doctrine Love a little more, love a little more 'Cause everybody's broken ~ Real to Me, Nichole Nordeman

You’ve got one foot here and one foot there…which way will you choose? I’m not here to judge, just an observer of the life I once led. No time for this or that, but just enough time to pursue that which only fulfills for a little while. Could I be wrong? Of course, so then explain your heart to me. I’m here, I will listen, explain to me all the things you are, and all the things you want to be, but whatever you do please don’t hide your heart. Be honest with yourself, be honest with God, and be honest with others. Try the life of vulnerability, of letting others in...truly, deeply…not for me, but for you. You might find a little less stress, a little more time, and a lot more contentment. Contentment is not bad, it’s not settling, it’s trusting in where you are at any given moment is right where you should be. I believe in you, that’s all you need to know…but at the same time I have to leave…I have to keep running the race. Just know that whether broken or “whole” there is always work to be done.

Be real to others, be real to God, and be real to yourself.

To Know HIS Name!

I gotta be honest here (because that's what I do), I've asked God lately why He has forgotten me. It's been a frustrating last few months, but in talking to a friend last week I was reminded that God takes nothing away without lifting us UP! Thank goodness for that. I came across a worship song in the last few weeks that I know I've heard a million times before, but for some reason now is the time it has spoken the most to me. So I want to share this song with you in hopes that it will speak to you as it has to me. The whole song speaks volumes to me, but I highlighted the parts that get to the deepest part of my heart EVERY time. God bless and don't worry, there is a link to hear the song after the lyrics. : )

The precious blood of Jesus Christ redeems, forgiven I’m alive, restored set free.
Your majesty resides inside of me, forever I believe. forever I believe.
arrested by your truth and righteousness your grace has overwhelmed
my brokenness convicted by your spirit, led by your word
your love will never fail your love will never fail

‘Cause I know you gave, the world your only son for us to know your name,
to live within the saviours love and he took my place,
knowing he’d be crucified and you loved.. you loved, a people undeserving!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvsxRJliROc

Sometimes it's GOOD to go Home!

So here I am back home in good ol Coppell...in the same room I grew up in. Of course since I moved out over 3 years ago a lot has changed in here...in other words my parents made it a guest room with somewhat nicer furniture than what I took from them. : ) That's okay...I kinda feel like a princess in a bed fit for a queen. I do love it here...not matter how much I stubbornly fight God on this issue right now...I'm right where I need to be. Plus I know it is only for a season and an amazing season it will be as I continue on the journey He has laid out for me...a journey in which I'm learning me, I'm learning what I love, what I don't love so much and the boundaries of life that need to be set. All this in just the 2.5 weeks I've been back home, oh gee I can't wait to see what else is up ahead.

I went for a walk in the coolness of this evening and that is what really spurred me on to blog this little bloggity blog. Although much has changed in Coppell, so much is still the same. The path I walked tonight brought back so many memories of running to train for cross country and the many walks to and from school. One path came with a little wall I liked to walk along when I was in middle school. I had my backpack on and flute in one hand, while swinging the other as I followed the brick wall until it ended. I also walked past the elementary and middle school I attended and there was the memory of running the perimeter of both schools for cross country practice on early mornings before school started when it was nice and cold...I wonder if I still have the stamina to run that path or if I even remember the path. I think I'll save that task for another evening...when it gets a bit cooler. : )

So, you see...although this is not exactly what I had in mind for this season of life (I was hopin' I'd be rockin' a little bling and planning a really big party involving a beautiful princess dress and penguin outfits) I love where I'm at. Why? Because sometimes the life we plan for ourselves gets better when we let go and let God in to plan all the details.