We Took A Walk

I thought this evening would be a bit more productive than it was, but then again when I got home from work I realized there wasn't a whole heck of a lot to be productive about.  I did get some laundry done and cooked dinner, but beyond that I didn't have a lot of good ideas on world peace or solutions to fighting world hunger, so I decided to spend some time processing recent life developments and listening to worship tunes.  God is so good, He missed me, so he tugged on my heart and I followed.  I started processing through some upcoming changes and the fact that graduation (with my masters in counseling) is but a wee 8 weeks away.  An answer from D.C. on a potential internship is only 4 weeks away and I honestly have no clue what's next.  It's exciting, but mostly a little nerve wracking.  I also "should" be following up with some people about possible job leads, but it's hard to predict when you'll be "hirable" when you're dependent upon a board exam and a whole state to approve your license... no stress there!

But as I sat and let God sing over me, as the tears began to fall at the thought of all we've been through over the last 10 years and most specifically the last 2 1/2 years, I thought it would be fun to dig out some old journals.  And when I say old... I mean OLD!  These are a bit from high school, a lot from college, and a few years from my early recovery days.  I wanted to share something a bit deeper, but decided that if I was going to share it with anyone, it really should be my family first... they're the ones that deserve it the most especially after the hell I put them through for 6 years.  But I did run across something a little more light-hearted and fun...

Date: 12/13/04

Things to do in Life (in no particular order)

• Learn to snow ski
• Ride a jet ski
• Finally get up on water skis
• Dance in the falling snow
• Go to New York in the winter
• Spend a night looking at stars, telling stories, and laughing
• Learn to cook a gourmet meal
• Spend a summer in Europe (Paris, London, Italy, Rome, Venice)
• Ride a vespa somewhere, anywhere in Europe 
• Write a book (both children's & testimonial)
• Go to a world series game (no matter where, who, or when... preferably the Rangers)
• Remodel & decorate my dream house

Needless to say I had completely forgotten about this list and I can readily admit that not one of these things can be crossed off.  I could probably add a few things, but I can say not much has changed... I would love to do all the above sometime in my life.  

It's been a good season, a heart-breaking, life altering season... but good nonetheless.  I must close as I long to journal tonight about things that I'll probably not share, but at least I know God knows it all.