Something's Changed...

So, my birthday is today... yep, normally I'm ecstatic about this day of the year, but the last couple of years have found me facing it more quietly and with a little less gusto. I think in years past I've gotten a little obnoxious with my birthday countdown and the fact that it stretched over a weeks time as I celebrated with friends and family. However, with the age of 27 and now 28 came the realization that there would from now on be a part of my birthday celebration missing, my nephew, Billy. You see he too was a November baby, like his cousin Will and myself. I was so excited as my 26th birthday grew near... the two weeks leading into it I celebrated the birth of not one, but two nephews and now it's just me and Will without B that celebrate our birthdays each year. I have the revelation that 'B' is in a much better place, but it doesn't make it hurt any less, it doesn't make me miss my birthday buddy any less with each passing year.

I guess I set myself up for failure when I put so many unspoken expectations on sharing my birthday month with Billy and Will. When those boys were born suddenly everything changed. I had gone from never having to share my birthday celebration with anyone in my family to sharing it with two amazing and remarkable boys. This is quite a selfish blog on my part, but I think it has its lessons learned and changes of perspective, which I will get to now...

Everything changed after Billy died, I changed, life changed, my vision for life, passion, and God all changed. This is nothing new, I've stated this more than a dozen times before, but it just seemed relevant to share once again today. Ever since Billy died there were certain things in life that just didn't seem important anymore. One of those things for me was my birthday, it sounds a little depressing/sad, but I don't mean it in that way. My birthday became a day to reflect on the blessings bestowed upon me versus how I've blessed the world somehow just by being alive. Spending time with family and friends took on a much deeper meaning and I hope that I've been able to show a deeper appreciation for the role of each of them in my life. When I woke up this morning I was greeted with so many wonderful birthday wishes of blessings and love, and I so appreciate each one of them. But the important thing for me not to lose sight of here is that whether those things are said every other day of the year or not, they are there... the blessings, the love, the encouragement, the support... it's all there the other 364 days, even when unspoken.