Stillness...

"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;

do not fret when men succeed in their ways,

when they carry out their wicked schemes." ~ Psalm 37:7

"Be still and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the nations.

I will be exalted in all the earth." ~ Psalm 46:10

As I sit here in the quietness of the evening, in the stillness of the day I think of you. I think of that which you've called me to... a life sometimes unbearable to walk out. But I close my eyes, I see your face, I feel your touch and all my expectations just melt away. My hopes and dreams look different in your eyes, along your path. For me it's about getting to the next step, but for you it's about understanding the step I'm on now before moving forward. It's about fully loving, trusting, understanding and in those times where understanding is impossible it's about letting go. When my heart breaks for what was or could have been I find strength in knowing that I have yet to see how the story unfolds, I have comfort in knowing that you are not done with me yet... thank you. On those days where I feel as though I'm walking with a scarlet letter pinned to me I find I have to trust that only you know all there is to know about me, not even I can comprehend that much.

So I close my eyes, and as a tear rolls down my cheek in all that I hope to be for you, I walk in brokenness searching for that stillness, that peace that only you can bring. When I seek the comfort of another I realize that it is first and foremost you that I need. Come, come into my heart and my life, plant your roots in me that I may become a shining light out of this darkness. And help to be okay with those times that brokenness may find its way into my life, for those are the times where I gain strength and understanding in all that you are and all that I am not. Help me to be still...