Oh what a crazy season this has become. I feel like one event has turned into numerous events which has all snowballed me into a season of "unsettledness." Ugh! I hate that, I truly do...but then I'm reminded of how blessed I am, even in the midst of my world being flipped upside down. See, I am surrounded by so much love in my life. Love from friends and love from family...for that I could not be more grateful. I had the honor and privilege of speaking with 3 very wise and wonderful women that having been walking life with me for years all within the last 24 hours...God must have truly known what I needed. I wanted so much to guard myself and not let them in as I always have before, but I couldn't resist, I was desperately seeking wise and loving council. I already knew some decisions I needed to make, but God answered by prayers by showing me clarity through the words and wisdom of the 3 women I trust immensely.
I'm not gonna lie...I'm scared right now. It's a very real and very raw emotion that I can't hide, even if I tried. I go out of town for 10 days and I knew I had one big obstacle to tackle when I got back...but in actuality I ended up with 3...that I was NOT prepared for. I know God makes a way, I know he'll provide and bring blessing and love to my life...but right now it could not get any darker in here...at least that's what I think. One of these women that I've shared life with mentioned that this could be an amazing season of rest for me, for me to learn to truly let go and let God take control of every situation. Does that mean stop looking for a job, give up on finding a roommate or a new place to live? Of course not, but it does mean learning to fully trust and not allow my anxiety to rule my life. That seems easier said than done. But at the same time, I'm willing to find out. If this truly is a season of rest where I can place priority on my graduate schoolwork and find a place of true contentment, then I'm all in. I'm more than happy to let God lead the way as I know that I would probably leave nothing but a destructive path if I was in control.
So can I? Can I truly let go and let God lead the way during this rocky season? Can I trust the only ONE who has proven time and time again that there is a reason and purpose to each and every thing He lays His hands on? Come along with me...share life and let's see what He has in store!
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