Saturday, November 1, 2014

Happy Birthday Billy!



My Sweet Nephew,

Today would've been your 7th birthday here with us.  When my busy brain slows down and I think about all the things you'd be doing right now I miss you that much more.  But then...God reminds me that another birthday passing means another year closer to seeing you and holding you again.  When I miss you, I pray that my vision of Heaven would increase, and my grief, my confusion about what happened would greatly decrease.

Billy you'd be in 1st grade, most likely in the same school as your big sister and little brother.  When I look at your sister and brothers I am filled with such joy and peace that God has graced upon your family in the midst of such great loss.  You are the piece that is missing, but God fills that void with such peace and patience as we await our call home to Heaven.  Yesterday was Halloween, your big sister went as Olaf, a funny snowman from a Disney movie (you would've loved him, just like she does).  Nathan went as a cowboy, the most handsome cowboy I've ever seen.  And Jared was a football player, a Denver Bronco to be exact.  Your brothers LOVE football, and are constantly playing.  There are a lot of Denver Broncos vs. Dallas Cowboys games in your home.  And one of the coolest things to watch is how your baby brother, Jared is learning his phonics and finds similar sounding football teams to Denver Broncos...he's teaching me a lot ;-)

Guess what else has happened recently... I'm getting married!  You would've loved Quentin, and he would've loved you.  It's hard knowing that you won't be there celebrating with us when our special day arrives.  But yet, we know you'll have a front row seat with many of our other loved ones who won't be there either.  Sometimes I wish I could understand God's purpose in taking you home so early, but then I wonder what I'd miss out on or lessons lost if I did understand.  God's pretty good about teaching us patience and trust, isn't he?

I love you bug, and I LOVE being your aunt.  You are missed, but I continue to trust God for all that He has planned in the midst of having lost you.  Happiest of Birthdays B!

xoxoxo,
Aunt Cristyn


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Baby - I love how you write from your heart. Thanks for sharing your heart with me. I can't wait to be married to you! Thanks for letting me into the most private parts of your life.

Cristyn Smith said...

Thank you for continuously encouraging me. I love how you love me. I'm so excited to become your wife, we make an excellent team!