I start with my walk from the parking garage into service at church this morning. In that 2 minute walk what ran through my head flowed from how my day was mapped out, to needing to still get butter and eggs from the grocery store, to thinking about my sweet 3-year-old nephew, Nathan who has a tendency to passionately express that he hates something (i.e. "I HATE this Mommy, I HATE it's taking too wong to get to Texas"). That's a lot of things in a short 2 minute walk, but that's the truth. My point is this. I found myself stuck on Nathan's passionate expressions of disliking certain things, and realized that in my heart right now I find that I'm expressing the very same thing to God. "Lord, I HATE this season! I HATE that a certain person doesn't know me, I HATE that I allowed them to 'break' me! I HATE that I can't be closer to my sister (geographically speaking) right now! I HATE that someone won't take a chance on me and see that I could be a wonderful asset as a counselor to their organization!" I would go on, but I think it's pretty clear that you can get the point. I thought it was interesting that this should suddenly float to the forefront of my thoughts and heart today. As I sat in service today, God's voice just spilled over me. One of our pastors at Watermark, JP, has been speaking the last 3 weeks on Psalm 23. Today he talked about the last 2 verses and broke it down to this... "those who don't have peace in their lives/hearts are those that are not walking closely with God." OUCH!! I hear ya Lord, I get it. So I sit and write out what God is teaching me in this moment through the gobblety goop in my head and heart. I pray that as I step into a new week my priorities will shift, my heart's desire will bleed for the Lord that I would draw nearer to Him and forget everything else. Trusting that in His time it will all make sense.
Well there ya go... I guess I did end up flowing and having a point :-) I can honestly say that which I just wrote came as a surprise to me.