Monday, February 16, 2009

Learning to Breathe

I was driving home the other day and as I was glancing around I realized I wasn't breathing.  For whatever reason I was holding my breath and in an instant the Lord spoke to me and asked me what I was waiting for... what in the world was I holding my breath for?  I never realized until that moment how often I have to remind myself to breathe, in fact I even dated a guy once who was constantly reminding me to breathe.  You hear of those moments that take your breath away, well I have moments where I stop breathing in the hopes that in that time frame something will change, what the deepest part of my heart desires will instantly come to pass.  I guess I realized the other day that holding my breath is not going to make God move faster, it's just going to cause me to turn into a smurf (which I have not yet done yet... thank goodness!).  

So I guess what inspired me to write this is the contemplation of what other people might hold there breath for.  Did my sister hold her breath as she waited to hear if her son would be okay or not?  Do men hold their breath after asking their girlfriends for their hand in marriage?  Do women hold their breath every time they think might be the time he'll "pop the question?"  How many people held their breath on September 11, 2001 while awaiting to hear word on their loved ones in New York?  What are you holding your breath for?

I also realized how much of a waste of life that is, to sit there and hold your breath for something to happen.  I lived life to the fullest this past weekend, at least the most full I have in a very long time... today I felt like life was beginning to feel good again, not perfect... it never will be, but my heart is finally starting to feel as though it is moving towards wholeness again.  I'm still learning to breathe, I think that it might be a process before I finally stop holding my breath for something to come to pass.  I'm just grateful that I have the revelation now and that in those moments I can seek my Heavenly Father to comfort me and to keep pushing me along through life.  I'm ready to live it to the fullest, and continue to dance like no one is watching. ; )

Now... close your eyes, take a deep breath and see where it takes you.

1 comment:

paularae said...


Your writing takes my breath away. I am so thankful for your continued transparency and depth. I pray that life brings you moments beyond measure that take your breath away! Paula