Saturday, February 21, 2009

Learning to Forgive...

So I'm supposed to be studying Life Span Development right now (which I totally love), however I've been told when you have goobles and goobles (a new word I just made up, when I have time I'll submit it to Merriam-Webster) of emotional junk in your head, it is best to splurge it out on paper (or in this case blog site).  So here I go spreading my newest revelation in my what has now become the "Learning" series of blogs (2 makes a series... right?).  

Last night I had a wonderful conversation with a dear friend.  He's not someone I see often, but when we do hang out and catch up I seem to take something away that goes deep into my soul and God reveals so much of my current situation out of it all.  One thing I realized last night is that moving on, a case of "out of sight, out of mind" does not indicate forgiveness.  We all have our ways of dealing with stuff and finding our way through forgiving others, I guess for me I'm still learning.  I've recently run into a bit of a situation from my past and the anger that arose from this recent revelation was insane.  There are very few times in my life that I can remember screaming at God so loudly and what took place a few weeks ago was no different.  I couldn't believe what I saw and I was bitter down to the deepest part of me.  I guess a part of me still is.  How have I dealt with it... not very well, in fact you'll probably find me laughing it off more than anything.  But as I was talking to my friend last night he shared a bit with me that got me to thinking, is it ever too late to say "I'm sorry," to take responsibility for one's own actions and ask another for forgiveness?  I played a part in a scenario that occurred almost 2 years ago, has too much time passed or is there still a chance to make amends, to wipe the slate clean and not only ask for forgiveness from another, but forgive myself as well?  

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