Monday, May 31, 2010

The Box

Life is hard living in a "box." It took me years to realize it and quite a few people along my life path to point out that I do indeed live life inside it... or at least use to. You see, it's difficult to see outside the box, it's difficult to understand what is outside and around the box in which one lives.

I remember the first time I had this discussion about how I viewed life. I was called into meet with one of my professors in college. It was my senior year at SMU and I was taking a theater class to fulfill one of my elective requirements... Creative Dramatics (don't act like you're surprised by this). Charlie was the professor and I remember sitting across from him in his office when he stated that what he noticed in me was this beautiful ability to become a completely different person when acting out a scene, but then somewhere along the way I'd pull back as if I'd seen something in me that I didn't like or that I didn't allow myself to be. Little did I know at that time that meeting would stick with me for years to come. I've carried that scene in the back of my mind and occasionally it pops up to the forefront and this time around I felt the need to put it into words. I thank Charlie for that. But that wouldn't be the last I heard of this viewpoint within me.

Three years after graduation and after that class with Charlie I came face to face with the "box" once again and this time in terms of the end of a "relationship." I was told I place people in a "box" and I expect them to act uniformly. I didn't get it this time around, I was bitter and mad for this suggestion and the person for the pain and hurt they had brought to my heart. Now 3 years after that encounter I finally get it.

I'm learning that living in a "box" is not fun and so one dimensional and restrictive. There's a lot of life to see, I may not understand it all, but it doesn't hurt to try. Grace, mercy, and patience are beautiful things and I think that is what I'm understanding the most out of all this mess. People are very much more than one aspect, more than one characteristic. That is the one thing I so painfully came to realize over 2 years ago and struggled to express to others at the time. I'm grateful for this journey and blessed that I can choose to step outside the "box" and see the world as it was truly meant to be seen.

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