It's interesting to me how in the 11 years that I've known the Lord, that I've come to walk into a relationship with Him that there is so much scripture for me yet to discover. I love this verse because it reminds me that God chose me! What amazing revelation and comfort. We live our lives waiting and hoping to be a chosen people... chosen for the best sports team in grade school, chosen to attend our number one choice of college, chosen for that job in the real world, the one with the corner office with a view and assistant who brings you coffee every morning, for girls our hearts wait to be chosen by the "perfect" guy all while being told not to chase him, but to be patient. We live our lives longing and hoping to be chosen by man... but what about God? Why not wait, hope for, and long to be chosen by the only one who can fulfill the deepest desires of your heart? He has called us out of the darkness of waiting and hoping and longing to be chosen by man. We are called to live in His light, a light that will always choose us first.
I've spent the last 5 weeks drowning in worship music and time with the Lord. I've loved every single moment of it, and then I decided to step away for a weekend. This past weekend I filled my schedule to overflowing and while I loved the time I had with friends and getting stuff done around my house, it didn't take long for me to realize there was a distance that had grown between me and God. Just like that, in the blink of an eye I suddenly became dependent upon myself to heal my grieving heart. I woke up this morning feeling numb, broken, and unable to move. I was caring the weight of the world while I slept. The weight of waiting to be chosen by man. So tonight I went back to where I've been these last 5 weeks... I went back to the white chair in the corner of my living room, worship music playing softly in the background, Bible open, heart open, and words of gratitude to the one who always has and always will choose me... no matter what I do or where I go... there He is.
I come before you tonight with an open heart, full of gratitude and grief. While my heart may still ache for what could have been, I praise you for what will be. You've promised that what I sow in tears I will reap in joy. You also promised that you would never leave or forsake me. Although life looks so much different than I thought it would at this stage of my life, I thank you that I'm right where I should be, right where you planned for and expected me to be. I lift up my friends, family, co-workers, and strangers that they too would find peace and gratitude in the love and life you've planned for them. That they too would be a chosen people, on fire for you... not waiting to be chosen by man. Thank you for this season of loss and darkness that I may not forget where I've been, where you want to take me, and everything in between. Thank you that you've lead me and continue to lead me into your wonderful light!