Saturday, May 9, 2009

In My Brokenness...

"It's supposed to be hard.  If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it.  The hard... is what makes it great." ~ Jimmy Dougan (played by Tom Hanks) in A League of Their Own (1992)

"Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome.  That's what momma always says.  She says that beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most.  Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning.  Just give hope a chance to float up.  And it will..." ~ Birdee Pruitt (as played by Sandra Bullock) in Hope Floats (1998)

"And I'll fall facedown 
As your glory shines around
Yes I'll fall facedown
As your glory shines around"
~ Matt Redman (2004)

I will never leave you nor forsake you. ~ Joshua 1:5

It hit me as I was driving home tonight how much I'm starting to see God answer my prayers and how deeply close I feel to Him these days.  The funny thing is I'm finding Him more now that I'm starting to face my brokenness and "junk."  There are an endless amount of times I could tell you about how I've heard the still small sound of my Lord and Savior in the most unusual of places... and I could never be more grateful.  For years I've prayed that God would give me eyes to see what He sees in me, what others see in me and although I still struggle to see the princess He has created and formed I trust and believe that there is a day coming that I will stand in full confidence of who He has called me to be.  I'm starting to recognize more and more the arrows of the enemy and am able to shield myself from his attacks.  

I guess what I'm trying to say is that in the midst of my brokenness, in finally coming to terms with it and admitting the truth of it all I'm finding me, and wow I can't believe that this girl has been hidden for so long.  There are still deep desires of my heart that I await to come to pass, but in the mean time I'm finding me, I'm finding independence and a life that I never even realized could exist.  I thank God that even in the times and seasons of pain we may feel it but at the same time we can still feel His love so powerfully.  I'm grateful that despite whatever is going on around me or whoever may be around me I can fully grasp my emotions and allow myself to feel with all that I have.

Father God,
I pray that as we seek you each day we are able to grasp all that day brings and live in the moment that you have blessed us with.  I thank you Father that with each new day your mercies are new, that there is nothing we can do that would cause you to love us any less or any more.  Thank you that as we forgive others you forgive us.  I pray Lord that in the midst of our brokenness and pain we can still feel the love and grace you extend to us more than ever before.
Thank you for your sacrifice so that we may have life and have it abundantly!
~ Amen

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