Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Forgiveness: The Ongoing Saga (Part II)

I had a really good talk with an awesome friend the other night. She and I are complete opposites in a lot of things when it comes to life, but when it comes to opening up ourselves to what God can do with us and sharing it with one another... well that my dear readers is something we do have in common. I love her heart, she drives me crazy sometimes and I don't always agree with her advice, but at the end of the day I find that she (in one way or another) does have a point.

We got on the topic of "forgiveness" and it was interesting and simple what she told me. She asked me why I couldn't just let it all go... my response to her? "I don't know, every time I think of what happened and try to forgive and let it go, I get so angry all over again." I've been praying for a long time for God to show me a way to forgive a deep seeded wound. It was interesting what I came across tonight that reminded me of all the reasons I've forgiven people and things in the past. I remember the good times, because despite whatever may have happened, despite my perspective on it all... there were good times, sweet times, moments where I felt loved and cared for. What happened was so simple and I believe to be a gentle guide from the one who loves me like none other. I drove past the Galleria Mall (in Dallas) on my way home from babysitting. Ever since I can remember the Galleria has always had such a delightful Christmas display inside and out (lights in the trees outside & a beautiful tree in the center of the inside). Just over 2 years ago in an effort to surprise me, I endured one of the most unexpected and sweet dates of my life. Granted I don't have a long track record in the dating department, but alas this one goes in the record books with an 'A' for effort. In a nutshell, in spite of the struggle to find a way to forgive, I remembered a good moment... that's been happening a lot in many different areas of my life lately.

Over a span of 3 years I've allowed a wound to be reopened time and time again. At the point where I've been stitched up and those stitches are about to be removed I find myself reopening the same wound. But this time... over the last 22 months I've felt the hand of God slowly, but surely stitching me up again. It's been a long process, to this day I still don't feel that the wound has been completely closed up, but with each happy/good memory I recall I feel a new stitch go in... I feel His healing touch as it continually places the pieces of my heart back together in what I hope to be a final intensive surgery session.

Just remember my friends... with the bad comes the good... remember the good times, it will help you through the deepest parts of pain.

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