When we started this journey
But this is where we are
And our God is in control
Though this first taste is bitter
There will be sweetness forever
When we finally taste and see
That our God is in control
And we'll sing holy, holy, holy is our God
And we will finally really understand what it means
So we'll sing holy, holy, holy is our God
While we're waiting for that day
~ Steven Curtis Chapman, Our God is in Control
Happy 4th Birthday Billy!!! Oh how greatly you are missed. I've been thinking about you a lot lately and missing you just the same. It's hard to believe you would have been 4 today. It is truly an honor to share my birthday month with you and your younger cousin, Will. I spent 25 years with November all to myself in our family and then in 2007 you and Will came along and I finally got to share my birthday month with someone, 2 of my favorite boys to be exact.
So much of life has happened in 4 years. I often wonder what Heaven is like and what you're up to. Your sister Avery once asked me who makes birthday cakes in Heaven. My response to her was that we would have to ask God when we get there. She is a great big sister, she loves and misses you as we all do. And your younger brothers are hilarious and so full of life and personality. I imagine the three of you would have given your sweet Mama a run for her money. I look forward to the day that Nathan and Jared fully understand who you were to them. You would have been an awesome big brother. Your Mama reminds me constantly (though not intentionally) what God spoke to her before you were born. That you would be light and life to those around you... and you are, even today in your absence here on earth. You've been a constant reminder to me to love, cherish, and fully grasp every moment here on earth for we are here but a short while.
I long to see your sweet face once again and hold you in my arms, but until Jesus comes back or God calls me home I will wait for that precious day. This may not have been what we wanted or what we would have planned, but I trust that God's hand is on all of this. I've seen how he continues to heal your Mama and Daddy. I see the light and life that is within them as they reach out to other families and help them through the grieving process of losing a child to SIDS. You left a legacy that not even a little guy like you could comprehend, but only our big God.
I love you and until I see you again I send you big hugs and kisses!