I heard a quote tonight, I'm not sure if it is real as I tried to google it and nothing came up even remotely close to it...but it still spoke volumes. It was talking of grief, pain, and sadness...all emotions I've become very familiar with in the last six months. However, I have my own spin on it and it ties to what I read as I spent my quiet time with God this morning.
See, grief is a lot like the ocean. It is deep and dark and scary. One can even get lost in the waves of it all, being continuously tossed back and forth...but unlike the ocean, grief does end somewhere. There comes a point in time where you wake up and the pain isn't quite so hard to bear and the days come and go where not one tear was shed. I have days like that sometimes, and other days the tears fall like they are never ending.
The other day I stopped by the grocery store looking for some "Thank You" notes and I stumbled across Halloween Candy. Usually my first thought is, "Oh jeez, really? Halloween time already? Guess that means Christmas isn't far behind." But not anymore, I was actually really surprised by my reaction. I started to cry. I started to cry because for me Halloween brings the memory of last year when my dad called to tell me my sister was in labor and that he was headed to Colorado. I have the memory of him calling me at 2am on November 1 to tell me he arrived safely. I have the memory of my sister calling me to tell me that her son was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen and she prayed so hard that he would wait to make his arrival on November 1 and NOT be born on Halloween...and that she couldn't wait for me to arrive in Colorado to meet him. All very sweet memories, but now...well now we will celebrate each of his birthdays every year without him...that's where the ocean begins.
...but there is an end...
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven."
~ Ecclesiastes 3:1
There was a designated birthdate for Baby Billy...November 1, 2007
There was a designated birthdate for him in Heaven...March 29, 2008
There will be a day where our grief will become joy, where our mourning will become dancing, and where Halloween candy won't bring tears to my eyes. : )
1 comment:
It's not Father's Day that makes me sad, but the week before when I go to buy father's day cards for half the men in my family... but not for my own father, who passed away several years ago.
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