"The Unexpected" has become the unofficial title of this season of life. Never in a million years did I expect to feel so lost and yet so refreshed and so renewed at the same time. Through all the unexpectancies of life this season I've never felt more close to the Father. And the truth of it is I came into it with boxing gloves up and letting it all out. Never in a million years would I think that I would find so much healing in being real and yelling at God. Thank goodness He is a merciful, loving, forgiving Father. What a beautiful picture we have painted for us of the one who loves us more than we could ever love ourselves or another.
This blog is a bunch of randomness, this I know, but for the first time in a long time I've felt a peace, an unexpected joy for about 3 and a half days and it all started with completely embracing an unexpected moment. See, I've been told that I'm not spontaneous or adventurous enough...you should have seen me on the 4th of July...talk about spontaneous! I have never had more fun in the rain than I did this past July 4th holiday. About 5 minutes before an outdoor barbeque was due to begin at my church (also place of employment) the rain began to fall and not just a little bit, I mean it poured for a solid 45 minutes to an hour in buckets and buckets. There was an obstacle course bounce house that we had rented, so what better way to celebrate the fourth than to challenge a few friends to a bounce house race in the rain. I don't remember the last time I've laughed and screamed so hard...I had the best time and realized how great it truly is to be a kid again. I suddenly feel like I know what God meant when He told us to have a child-like faith.
God is so good, and in the midst of all the pain, he rained down a bit of joy if even for a short while. Due to this amazing blessing I was able to forget my troubles all through the holiday weekend and truly enjoy the present season and walk it out with humility and grace. I still have my moments when the tears fall unexpectedly and I give myself no time line in healing, when all is said and done there will more change than I could ever imagine, but yet so much joy, peace, and understanding...I thank God for the amazing work He is doing in my life and for the greater love that will come out at the end of it all.
Original Post: July 7, 2008