That is what my dad wrote when he sent out an email on behalf of my sister and her husband announcing that their precious 5-month-old son passed away early Saturday morning, March 29, 2008. But he was so much more than a blessed child, but a blessing to all those around him as well. I realized today that there are so many things that I learned from Baby Billy in the short amount of time he spent here on earth with us. For one thing, always laugh...life is not so hard that you can’t take the time to laugh. Laugh at yourself first and foremost, laugh at others (not in a belittling way) and laugh together. This precious boy has brought a loving family that much closer together. No we never wanted to bond over an incident such as this, but because of this God has made a way that we would stop the busyness of all our lives to be together, to love on one another, and to laugh together...to remember the good times.
Billy was such a happy baby, he loved watching his big sister run around the house and be her silly self. She would help calm him when he was fussy in the car, she is such a wonderful big sister...of course she learned from the best one in the world. Avery may not understand what is going on and why exactly Baby Billy can’t come home anymore, but he will live in her heart forever...through the memories shared with her from her mommy and daddy.
The two weeks leading up to Baby Billy’s passing I was dealing with such overwhelming anxiety and depression...neither of which made any sense to me...life is great. Early Saturday, March 29 I woke up after sleeping straight through the night for the first time in a long time. I was so excited about the day and both Avery and Billy weighed heavy on my heart, so I prayed. I prayed for joy and safety, for blessings and love...little did I know our Heavenly Father had already taken Billy home to be with Him in paradise. I’m grateful for that wonderful and peaceful morning I had with the Lord, for the ignorance I had regarding my nephew’s passing, even if just for a couple hours. When I received the call from my dad that Billy was sick and not breathing I dropped to my knees in a flood of tears and felt all my anxieties and depression leave me. Nothing else mattered anymore than being with family and some how, some way getting to my sister as quickly as possible.
Prior to getting to Colorado with my sister and the rest of my family I was surrounded by never ending love from friends and family. I am so grateful for the encouragement and prayers that have been sent on behalf of my family. In a time where no one knows what exactly to say, how to support each other, or even how to pray, it is good to know that there are others standing in the gap.
The most important thing I can leave with you as I close is to love on your babies...love on your family, no matter what is going on. For you never know when God may call them home. Billy definitely served a purpose for the few months he was with us and there is definitely a purpose to his passing. Will we ever know? Possibly not, but we trust in the Lord and believe that His ways our higher than ours and everything works together for those who love Him.
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." ~ Psalm 34:18
Original Post: April 1, 2008