My sister called me tonight as I was on the other line. She left a long message, a really really long message, one in which brought so much peace. It's been 6 almost 7 weeks since my precious nephew passed away and not one day goes by where I don't think about him. My sister called to tell me that she found Baby Billy's journal that I wrote for him before he was born, it was his birth day gift on November 1, 2007. What is so significant about this journal is that in the week after Billy passed a few of us were collecting things we found around my sister's house that belonged to Baby Billy and putting them in a trash bag to be placed in his closet. As I was searching for a diaper for my 2-year-old niece I came across Baby Billy's scrapbook that Cheryl was working on and I placed it in his closet. The scrapbook reminded me of his journal and I started searching high and low around that house for that thing...it was no where to be found...until tonight (Wednesday, May 14, 2008).
When Cheryl called she told me that she was reading through some of the entries I had written to Billy and she told me that I blessed her without even knowing it. It brings such joy to hear that from my sister because for so many years I kept her out of my life and from the sidelines she watched as I self-destructed and waited for she knew some day I would let her back in and all she knew to do was pray...she was a blessing to me. She read the entry in Billy's journal where I had written 1 Corinthians 13 that ends with "love never fails." Cheryl was quickly reminded that she and her husband did not fail their son, they loved him with all that they had and will continue to love that sweet boy forever and ever in their hearts.
I'm glad I didn't find that journal the week after Billy passed for who knows maybe the blessing would still have come if I hid it in the closet with the rest of his stuff, but then again maybe my sister needed it more so now than later.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Original Post: May 15, 2008